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Joke 1 : One day, little Timmy was at school and heard the word “shit”. He went home and asked his dad for the definition and he promptly told him “coats and jackets”. Timmy went to school the next day and heard the word “fucking”, and for a second time, asked his father what it meant. His father promptly said “cooking”. Then, he returned to school the third day and heard the words “bitches and hoes”. He went home and his father told him it meant “grandpa and grandma”. Later, on Thanksgiving night, his grandparents came over. Timmy answered the door with glee and says: “Hey bitches and hoes! I’ll take your shit to the closet cause dad’s in the kitchen fucking the turkey!” ( Happy Thanksgiving 2017 )
Also read: Thanksgiving Funny Jokes 2017 for Adults
Download Funny Thanksgiving Pictures 2017 – Happy Thanksgiving Funny Images 2017
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Q: What is the difference between Election day and Thanksgiving day?
A: On Thanksgiving, you get a turkey for the day; on Election day, you get a turkey for four years.
Also read: Best Happy Thanksgiving Greetings 2017
Q: What is the difference between a chicken and a turkey?
A: Chickens celebrate Thanksgiving!
Also read: Free Printable Thanksgiving Cards 2017
Q: Why should you never set the turkey next to the desert?
A: Because he will gobble, gobble it up!
Also read: Top 51 Happy Thanksgiving Quotes 2017
Q: What is a turkey’s favorite dessert?
A: Peach gobbler.
Top Funny Thanksgiving Quotes and Sayings 2017
“Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.”
― Erma Bombeck
“After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one’s own relations.” – Oscar Wilde
“Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.” ― Kevin James
“You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.” —Jay Leno
Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.
– William Arthur Ward ( Happy Thanksgiving 2017 )
Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
– Erma Bombeck
I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.
– Jon Stewart ( Happy Thanksgiving 2017 )
If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, “thank you,” that would suffice.
– Meister Eckhart
Thanksgiving Day is a jewel, to set in the hearts of honest men; but be careful that you do not take the day, and leave out the gratitude.
– E.P. Powell
Turkey for the girls and Turkey for the boys. My favorite kind of pants are corduroys. Gobble gobble goo and Gobble gobble nickel. I wish turkey only cost a nickel. Oh I love turkey on Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving everybody!
– Thanksgiving Song by Adam Sandler ( Happy Thanksgiving 2017 )
Also check: Thanksgiving Quotes Funny 2017
A FEW MORE FUNNY THANKSGIVING PICTURES 2017 AND
FUNNY THANKSGIVING JOKES 2017:
- What did the turkey say to the man who tried to shoot it? Liberty, Equality and Bad aim for all.
- Who doesn’t eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey because it is always stuffed.
- Why did the Pilgrims want to sail to America in the spring? Because April showers bring Mayflowers! ( Happy Thanksgiving 2017 )
- Dear Turkeys, don’t worry… they only love us for our breasts too. Sincerely, women.
- What did baby corn say to mama corn? Where’s popcorn?
- If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for? Their AGE!\
- Why can’t you take a turkey to church? They use FOWL language.
- Why was the Thanksgiving soup so expensive? It had 24 carrots. ( Happy Thanksgiving 2017 )
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- Most turkeys taste better the day after. My mother’s tasted better the day before.
– Rita Rudner
- Americans observe Thanksgiving very much as the pilgrims did in 1621, by pepper-spraying each other at malls.
– Dave Barry
- Gearing up for shopping tomorrow. Just knocked my grandma to the ground.
– Bridger Winegar ( Happy Thanksgiving 2017 )
- Celebrate Thanksgiving the American way: spend money you don’t have to Chinese products.
– Andy Borowitz
- My family always celebrates Thanksgiving with a fast. The faster we eat, the more food we get.
– Melanie White ( Happy Thanksgiving 2017 )
Also read: Best Happy Thanksgiving Clip Art 2017
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