Best Funny Happy Thanksgiving Day Jokes for Kids

Here is the list of Best Funny Happy Thanksgiving Day Clean Jokes for Kids: I hope you’re having fun with your friends and family.

This time we have the list of Best Clean Jokes on Thanksgiving Day which are short listed by our team so that you can share these Thanksgiving Day Humor on your social media profile like Facebook & Twitter.

We have included pick up lines, one liner jokes and long even riddles and stories of knock knock while mostly jokes are on turkeys. So, enjoy these funny jokes and share with your friends…

Funny Happy Thanksgiving Jokes Clean

How did Albert Einstein celebrate Thanksgiving? He was very thankful.

Nobody eats a flamingo on Thanksgiving.

Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building? Yes – a building can’t jump at all.

Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving? The turkey, he’s already been stuffed!

Why did the monster get a ticket at Thanksgiving dinner? He was exceeding the feed limit!

What’s the best way to stuff a turkey? Take him out for pizza and ice cream.

What should does a space turkey make? “Hubble, hubble, hubble.”

Why should you never talk like a turkey? Because it’s bad to use fowl language.

When did the Pilgrims first say “God bless America”? The first time the heard America sneeze.

Why shouldn’t you look at the turkey dressing? It makes her blush.


Why did the turkey cross the road? It was the chicken’s day off.

What kind of key has two legs and can’t open doors? A tur-key

Who’s never hungry on Thanksgiving? The turkey. He’s always stuffed.

If a big turkey is called a gobbler, what do you call a little turkey. A goblet.

15. How many cooks does it take to stuff a turkey?  Only one, but you REALLY have to squeeze to get him in.

What did the hen tell the naughty chicks?  If you your father could see you now he would turn in his gravy.

Ah, Thanksgiving!  The day that everyone is thankful — except those on a diet.

I always try to invite someone to Thanksgiving dinner who’s less fortunate than I am.  And, each year they get harder to find.

Can you imagine paying (? Current cost) a pound for turkey? For the first time in history mothers are giving their kids candy. “Here, ruin your appetite.”

Our kids love Thanksgiving diner and it’s all because we’re learned how to draw a compromise between the old and the new. We have a 22-pound turkey — but we stuff it with Big Macs.

Best Thanksgiving Jokes and Riddles

Mark my words, the first person who comes up with a 22-pound turkey that can be cooked in a toast–has it made!

Thanksgiving dinner is a unique experience. It’s like an orgy that’s rated G.

If you’re a turkey, the Bermuda Triangle is Thanksgiving.

This Thanksgiving try to be grateful for practical things. Like, be thankful the post office doesn’t handle prayers.

Our turkey was sick. All day long it had a thermometer in it.

Using a new recipe, my wife put the turkey in aluminum foil. She had to roast it until it was brown. Twenty-four hours later, the aluminum foil was still silver.

Last Thanksgiving my wife cooked the turkey in a microwave oven. We had to eat at 7:30 am.

The Puritans celebrated Thanksgiving because they were saved from the Indians. Lately, I think we’ve been celebrating because we were saved from the Puritans.

Last year we had Thanksgiving dinner at a roadside dinner. I had to say grace over grease!

Last year we had a frozen turkey. For the first two hours in the stove he enjoyed it!

Happy Thanksgiving Funny Jokes for Kids

After Thanksgiving dinner was finished, Mort saw his little brother Sid in the backyard, poking holes in the dirt and filling them in with birdseed.
“Why are you planting birdseed?” Mort asked.
“I’m growing next year’s turkey,” Sid replied.

Grandma: What would you like for dessert, Joey?
Joey: Pumpkin pie!
Grandma: Pumpkin pie, what, dear? Say the magic word.
Joey: I’m sorry, Grandma.  Pumpkin pie, abracadabra!

Teacher: Why do we have a Thanksgiving holiday?
Student: So we know when to start Christmas shopping!

Asked to write a composition entitled, “What I’m thankful for on Thanksgiving,” a student wrote, “I am thankful that I’m not a turkey.”

Teacher: “What did the Indians bring to the first Thanksgiving?”
Student: “Baseballs.”
Teacher: “Baseballs?”
Student: “Yeah, they were Cleveland Indians!”

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked the stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?” The stock boy answered, “No ma’am, they’re dead.”

Gobbler said, “Doctor, help me! I can’t stop acting like a turkey!”
“I see,” said the doctor. “How long have you had this problem?”
“Let me think a second. Mom laid the egg in 1954…”

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked the stock boy, ‘Do these turkeys get any bigger?’
The stock boy answered, ‘No ma’am, they’re dead.’

Young Simon was sitting in his grandmother’s kitchen, watching her prepare the Thanksgiving meal.

‘What are you doing?’ Simon enquired.

‘Oh, I’m just stuffing the turkey,’ his grandmother replied.

‘Wow, that’s cool.’ Simon remarked. ‘Are you going to hang it next to the deer?’

10. Jimmy: Mmmmm! That turkey smells good and it’s not even done yet. How long will it be?
Mom: About the same length as it was before I put it into the oven, I suppose.

Alma: The pig people are coming this Thanksgiving?
Dad: Who are the pig people?
Alma: Aunt Helen and Uncle Bob.
Dad: Whatever gave you the idea to call them pig people?
Alma: You. Last year you said that Aunt Helen was a crashing boar and Uncle Bob was a ham.

Happy Thanksgiving Humor Jokes

Billy: I can’t wait to go to Grandma’s for Thanksgiving. My cousin’s going to be there, and he has three feet!
Willie: Wow! How’d that happen?
Billy: I don’t know. My aunt wrote my parents and said, “You won’t recognize little Howie. He’s grown another foot.

A man when to get a turkey from a live poultry farm. “Do you have any turkeys going cheap?” he asked.
“Nope,” said the owner. “All our turkey go ‘gobble, gobble, gobble.'”

Pilgrim William: Why did Pilgrim James eat a candle, pray tell?
Pilgrim Daniel: I understand he was not very hungry and only wanted a light snack.

And after you’ve finished gorging yourself on a huge Thanksgiving dinner, be sure to watch one of those teeth-rattling, bone-crushing, gut-busting football games on TV.  It always helps to know that someone is in more pain than you are.

My wife is never quite sure when to take a turkey out of the oven.  But, her mother is a very practical teacher. She says the minute the turkey looks like it spent four weeks at Miami Beach it’s time to take it out!

The average mother takes two whole days to prepare for Thanksgiving dinner but most kids don’t really care. I have taken an informal but exhaustive poll of kids and have come to the conclusion that if Twinkies came with drumsticks, all turkeys would die of old age.

We’re having the same thing this year for Thanksgiving dinner as last year.

At Thanksgiving with her folks,  single Sally prayed the following, “Oh Dear Lord, I’m thankful for all the blessing in my life.  And, I’m  not asking for this for myself. But please send my mother a son-in-law.”

Last year on Thanksgiving, the childless farmer and his wife prayed for all their blessings. But, they also prayed that their loneliness of having no children be relieved.  Their prayers were answered and the wife became pregnant. She gave birth to triplets!  A friend remarked, “See, prayers are always answered.”  The farmer then then replied, “Yes, but I never prayed for a bumper crop like this!”

A Thanksgiving Knock-Knock Joke Story

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Ava who?
Ava seen a play about the first Thanksgiving?

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Wanda who?
Wanda be the turkey in the play?

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Feather who?
Feather the last time, you have to be the turkey in the play!

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Musket who?
Musket I be the turkey?

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Hugo who?
Hugo put this costume on now!

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Howie who?
Howie am I suppose to walk in this turkey costume?

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Wilma who?
Wilma know it’s me in this turkey costume?

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Nadia who?
Nadia your head when you say “Gobble! Gobble!”

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Annie who?
Annie body seen the turkey?

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Warrior who?
Warrior been? Rehearsal has started.

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Justin who?
Justin the nick of time!

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Butter who?
Butter say your line now.

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Mayflower who?
Mayflowers bloom by Plymouth rock.

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Theresa who?
Theresa green until Autumn.

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Bean who?
Bean cooking all day.

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Possum who?
Possum gravy on my potatoes.

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Aida who?
Aida the whole pumpkin pie!


Funny Thanksgiving Jokes Funnies

I hope you have enjoyed and celebrated these Damn Funny Jokes on Thanksgiving Day. Feel free to use these jokes with your friends and family… And share your feelings with us in the comment section…

Tags: Funny Happy Thanksgiving Jokes Clean, Best Thanksgiving Jokes and Riddles, Happy Thanksgiving Funny Jokes for Kids, Happy Thanksgiving Humor, Funny Thanksgiving Jokes Funnies

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