best Thanksgiving jokes

A funny collection of the best Thanksgiving jokes to burst on Thanksgiving day among family and friends. Let’s say thanks while making everyone smile. It costs nothing.

Why can’t you take a turkey to church?
Because they use such FOWL language.

What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?
If your father could see you now, he’d turn over in his gravy!

Why did the monster get a ticket at Thanksgiving dinner?
He was exceeding the feed limit!

What did the turkey say before it was roasted?
Boy! I’m stuffed!

I was going to serve sweet potatoes with Thanksgiving dinner, but I sat on them.
So what are you serving now?

What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus?
Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving.

What do turkeys like to do on sunny days?
They like to go on a peck-nic.

What did the monster say to the Thanksgiving turkey?
Pleased to eat you

What did the little turkey say to the big turkey?
“Peck” on someone your own size!

What would you get if you crossed Thanksgiving and Easter?
Feaster Sunday

Why was the dog chasing the band in the Thanksgiving parade?
He wanted to bury the trombones.

Why did Johnny get such low grades after Thanksgiving?
Because everything is marked down after the holidays.

Teacher: “Why do we have a Thanksgiving holiday?”
Student: “So we know when to start Christmas shopping!”

A poultry farmer was experimenting to breed turkeys with more legs for greater profits. Finally, he succeeded. While narrating the results to his friends, he told them, “The turkey I bred had six legs!” His friends who had got quite excited, eagerly asked, “What about the taste?” The father said with a long-drawn face, “Do you think it is so easy to catch it?”

What happened when the turkey got into a fight?
He got the stuffing knocked out of him.

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked the stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?”
The stock boy answered, “No ma’am, they’re dead.”

Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk?
To try to hatchet!

How many cooks does it take to stuff a turkey?
One, but you really have to squeeze him in!

How did Albert Einstein celebrate Thanksgiving?
He was very thinkful.

What do you get if you cross a pointy black hat and some leftover turkey?
A Witch-bone

What would you get if you crossed a Pilgrim with a type of cracker?
A Pilgraham

If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?
Their age

Why did the police arrest the turkey?
They suspected it of fowl play

How does a Turkey drink her wine?
In a gobble-let

What do you get after eating way too much turkey and dressing?
Dessert, of course!

Why did the turkey eat his meal so quickly?
Because he was a gobbler.

What do turkeys use to clean themselves?
They use “feather dusters”

Gobbler said, “Doctor, help me! I can’t stop acting like a turkey!”
“I see,” said the doctor. “How long have you had this problem?”
“Let me think a second. Mom laid the egg in 1954…”

Asked to write a composition entitled, “What I’m thankful for on Thanksgiving,”
A student wrote, “I am thankful that I’m not a turkey.”

Why did they let the turkey join the band?
Because he had the drumsticks.

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